70 – Why Are You a Puli?

The Puli is another chorded sheep dog from Hungary. A question you might ask, “Haven’t we already done this dog?” No. Well, kinda? The Komondor and the Puli are incredibly closely related. So much so, that they are essentially hot swapping with each other when their shifts end. The Puli mostly herds its charge during the day, and the Komondor guards at night. Also the largest difference between the two are the color of the coat and their size.

The Puli has an interesting temperament in that they are severely moody. They can go from lazy and lethargic to spastic and over-reactive. They don’t really like meeting new people, and if pushed to it, feint attacking newcomers. I say feint, as they are not really known to injure people, as they are all bark and no bite. Honk.

In this episode, we talk about Hamilton. There was an original opening that got cut out, because Caitlyn didn’t want to have fun with it, but we reference it later on. It sorta comes out of nowhere without context, but the opening just replaced dog with hamilton and that it was good.

Song for this week is from a movie called “Puli”. I have no idea what the song is called.


68 – Why Are You a Border Collie?

The Border Collie, also known as the “not-Lassie collie”. That’s right, the collie that everyone knows about is not the one that everyone knows about. The Border Collie is however, THE herding dog. These dogs are used to herd just about everything. Including sheep, pigs, chickens, and any other kind of bird you can imagine. Oh were you going to say ostrich? Yeah, they herd those, too. I wish I had video proof, but I can’t find any on such short notice.

The Border Collie is also one of the few dogs that are workers and show dogs. In fact, the working dogs are also allowed to show with their scars and damage from herding work. Interestingly though, as the Working Collie Club doesn’t seem to get along well with the AKC. Because of this, in the past, they have removed registration from dogs that have won in AKC shows. They also dominate in agility trials, and have even forced show runners to created ABC trials (Anything But Collies).

In this episode, we talk about Caitlyn’s resolution to take care of chickens if we ever got them. We finally follow up on the Chihuahua episode where Caitlyn went to the dentist. This time Kyle went. What were the results? Find out in this episode of Why Are You A Dog?!

Song this week is “Border Collie Song” by Rich Hall

67 – Why Are You a Samoyed?

The Samoyed is that fluffy white snow dog that smiles. That’s right, it actually smiles. It’s got full on pareidolia going on. Interestingly the fact that this dog can smile actually does serve somewhat of a purpose. Much like the other dogs that we had covered recently (can it be recent if it’s almost been a month?) it is of spitz breed origin. So it is well at home running and working in the snow.

The dog was named after the people who used them, sharing a very similar name. Until someone stole it from Siberia, most of its history was shared with the Samoyede. It was used for herding, hunting and sledding. Although the dog is decently large, it can actually suffer occasionally from dwarfism. This somehow also affects their vision. Genetics, right?

In this episode, Caitlyn and Kyle are kinda sick. We sound awful. In all honesty, I don’t blame you for skipping this. But you would miss out on the debate on what determines if something is outside or not. We also ponder if there are listeners out there that hate when we have asides like that. Sorry if you exist.

Song is “Samoyed Song” by Russelbuck

66 – Why Are You a Bernese Mountain Dog?

The Bernese Mountain Dog, or known as Bernies or Berners, is a big dog from the mountains of Bern. As a mountain dog, it’s probably not shocking at all that they are super furry and large. It’s almost like they developed the way they are due to the elements. As they are larger dogs, they were mostly used as guarding dogs for their owner’s farms. They were even strong enough to pull carts into towns. Granted, I don’t know how big these carts were, but still cool to say about a dog.

The dog is unfortunately a rather unhealthy one as it has, among even large dogs, one of the shortest life spans. They get all the popular diseases, and they often have mobility problems even at young ages. But even so, they are as playful and fun as just about any other dog.

Caitlyn and Kyle talk a lot about their recent experience visiting the 2018 AKC National Championships hosted in Orlando. They went around meeting several breeds, and watching some of the agility trials and dock diving. Both of which were amazing to watch, as any of the dogs could have a great run or an awful one. It was chaos incarnate. We even got to witness a Bernese Mountain Dog in action.

Song for this week is “Bernese Mountain Dog” by Nancy Simmonds

65- Why Are You a Siberian Husky?

The Siberian Husky is THE snow dog. When you look at people doing sled racing, it is likely this dog that you think of. It’s also the dog that someone who doesn’t know much about dogs thinks looks like a wolf. These are actually a pretty healthy and old breed, and you would be surprised that it actually comes from Russia. That’s right, it’s not a misnomer like the Australian Shepherd or the Labrador (which is totally from Newfoundland, ha! Well, originally I mean.) The dog has a lot of breeding and popularity in the United States. 

The dog can come in several different colors, and it made its claim to fame with the Nome Serum Run. The famous trek in Alaska where several dog teams carried serum for diphtheria. These dogs have been used to pull sleds in both the Arctic and the Antarctic and are regarded as the best sled dog around. It is actually a much smaller dog compared to sled dogs of the time it was introduced. 

Kyle talks about how he started reading a sad book about dogs. Caitlyn is excited that we use a lot of latin, since no one can stop her mispronunciations. 

Song is “Snow Dogs” by Brunswick Project

64 – Why Are You a Tibetan Mastiff?

The Tibetan Mastiff is that one giant scary looking dog you’ve seen pictures of. The one when you literally type in “giant furry scary dog” that pops up first. Seeing as how the dog was originally kept as guard dogs, the look is well earned. So if you are trying to rob a Tibetan Mastiff’s house, you’ll probably see that version. Generally though, these dogs tend to have an indifferent demeanor. They are also incredibly lazy.

The dog actually has little human guidance in how the breed developed. Although a domestic dog it is very closely related to the wolf, but has a lot of inbreeding in the line. As it is indigenous to the Himalayan mountains, it is quite fluffy. In fact, the artist rendering we requested for this episode is absurd. Among absurd things, the official club for this dog tries to convince you not to get this dog.

In this episode, we talk about the terror of high altitude aerospace. We also expound upon some of the pop-cultural appearances of this dog. Chiefly the film “The Tibetan Dog”.

Song for this week is Tibetan Monk Throat Singing.

62 – Why Are You an Afghan Hound?

The Afghan Hound: named after Afghanistan, or the blanket? It’s the former. Probably for both, actually. Kyle asked this question, but I don’t think we got a straight answer. Anyway, the Afghan hound is known for two things: 1) they have very long locks of hair all across their body 2) they are the dumbest dog. I suppose there are people who look at the world that way, so here’s the answer.  Not completely true, we’ve unpacked a bit on how these grades are received in previous episodes.

The dog is very similar in build to most other sight hounds, almost like a long haired Greyhound. In fact, at some point in history it even had a variation of the name “greyhound”. The dog used to hunt various game across Asia, including the rare Snow Leopard. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of information about the dog until they came to England. Some verifiable facts about the Afghan, is the dog was the first dog ever cloned. That’s right, someone cloned a dog, and it was the Afghan hound.

Since the dog is objectively pretty, we talk about fashion and how Kyle doesn’t understand it. What is the point of a fashion runway shows, as it seems improbable for someone to buy or wear the outfits. Yes, a well tapped comedy mine, don’t worry, we don’t linger long.

Song this week is “Afghan Hound” by Manor.

61 – Why Are You a Scottish Terrier?

The Scottish Terrier, or the Scottie, or like 12 other names is a dog from Scotland. I know, surprising. Well, it IS Scottish, but the English were the first to form a breed club around it. When you look at the dog these days, you typically see them only in one color: black. But when the dog was being “invented” they came in a wide variety of dark colors. If you’re still not sure which dog this is, just think of the dog that looks like a broom.

An interesting concept to consider is that Scotland seems to have a lot of terriers. I wonder if this is due to the type of game available in the region, or if Scots like loud small dogs. It could be a combo of both, but why make so many kinds? It is a bit uncertain if the Scottie is the progeny of many other terrier breeds or the genesis. What is certain is that the dog is unique among many other similar types in it’s region.

Caitlyn and Kyle talk about way too fat dogs. Seriously, how do you let your dog get this big!? We also talk about how history is covered in odd ranges.

Song for this week is “Scotty Doesn’t Know” by Lustra.

60 – Why Are You a French Bulldog?

The French Bulldog, or the Frenchie, is another bully breed dog. Surprise! But seriously, the name of the dog is pretty descriptive. Just like Kyle had said in a recent episode, the naming schema was “Place, thing related to what it does, dog/hound”. The history is very similar to the other bully breed dogs, but this dog was originally the reject dogs. When English Bulldogs came out too small, they would send them off to France. The French loved this.

The dog is actually much more popular than any other breed that is part of it’s lineage. This includes dogs like the pug, or the Mastiff, which is interesting, as it is nowhere near the size of a mastiff. This is also one of the most expensive dogs to give healthcare to. Any sort of issue that could happen, seems to happen to this dog. Down to even being nearly incapable of naturally breeding. They’re lucky that they are generally accepted as a cute breed, otherwise, this dog would go the way of the Steller’s Sea Cow.

In this episode, Caitlyn and Kyle talk about Red Dead Redemption 2. Mostly against Caitlyn’s will, because it’s what Kyle has been doing. Not him playing the game, just talking about it on the show that is probably not listened to by people who enjoy games. Whoops!

Song is “Frenchy, I’m Faking” by Architecture in Helsinki

59 – Why Are You an Affenpinscher?

The Affenpinscher, or the “monkey dog”, is the final dog of Dogtoberfest! Don’t worry, I’ll go back and address that “Monkey Dog” thing. Apparently someone thought the dog looked like a monkey. That’s the story. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your adrenaline running. Interestingly though, in German, Affen translates into english as “ape”. Which only furthers the whole thing, because Apes technically are not monkeys. Go ahead ask any know-it-all around you, they’ll be sure to point that out.

These days, the Affenpinscher is mostly a toy dog that doesn’t really work. In it’s original form, it did indeed perform many terrier tasks. The dog actually performed a few different jobs, moonlighting as a hunter during the day, and a lapdog at night. Much like some other small dogs we’ve covered, they were essentially little furnaces.

Caitlyn and Kyle spend WAY too long looking up things we didn’t know. I could only imagine the audience sitting at home shouting the answers to our queries into their windshields. I assume most people who listen are likely inside of a vehicle.

Song is “Monkey Dog” by Wright, O. V.