59 – Why Are You an Affenpinscher?

The Affenpinscher, or the “monkey dog”, is the final dog of Dogtoberfest! Don’t worry, I’ll go back and address that “Monkey Dog” thing. Apparently someone thought the dog looked like a monkey. That’s the story. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your adrenaline running. Interestingly though, in German, Affen translates into english as “ape”. Which only furthers the whole thing, because Apes technically are not monkeys. Go ahead ask any know-it-all around you, they’ll be sure to point that out.

These days, the Affenpinscher is mostly a toy dog that doesn’t really work. In it’s original form, it did indeed perform many terrier tasks. The dog actually performed a few different jobs, moonlighting as a hunter during the day, and a lapdog at night. Much like some other small dogs we’ve covered, they were essentially little furnaces.

Caitlyn and Kyle spend WAY too long looking up things we didn’t know. I could only imagine the audience sitting at home shouting the answers to our queries into their windshields. I assume most people who listen are likely inside of a vehicle.

Song is “Monkey Dog” by Wright, O. V.

58 – Why Are You a Jagdterrier?

The Jagdterrier, pronounced “Yack Terrier”, is a relatively new dog in the dog world. By that I mean, it was basically invented by as a science experiment during WW2. I specifically mentioned WW2 and science experiment, as it should have put a specific person in your mind. Don’t worry, had nothing to do with him, but the creator did have some dealings with that party. Essentially, the man who went on to create the Jagdterrier wanted to make a fox hunter with a German look. Problem was, he got the look down, but didn’t have any hunting dogs in the breed line.

Eventually the dog became a pretty decent hunter in it’s own right, hunting many types of game. The dog never became very popular in the United States though, as the US doesn’t really hunt foxes. The dog can hunt other things like squirrels and duck, but it’s main function is almost unneeded stateside. The AKC was nice enough to let them hang out in the Foundation Stock Services category in case they ever change their mind.

Kyle tells Caitlyn a pretty humorous story of how his pet ferret was a great hunter of her own. Caitlyn teaches us all some new words, and we apologize to the countries of Australia and New Zealand. Sorry guys, we don’t think you’re the same, but we often do.

Song is “Jagdterrier” by Hasenchat Music

55 – Why Are You a Yorkshire Terrier?

The Yorkshire Terrier, or the Yorkie, may be one of the smallest dogs, but they had a pretty big impact. They were originally bred for clearing mill houses of small pests. Or not? The men who bred the Yorkies were not very good at keeping records of what they did or why. This is actually a point of frustration for later breeders.

One of the smallest dogs of all time was a Yorkshire Terrier, not much larger than a matchbox. That is insanity that something could be that small. One of the most celebrated dogs of WW2 was also a Yorkie. Smoky started out as a stray, that travelled across the world with their master helping out with the war. Yeah, actually legitimately helping out with the war.

Caitlyn and Kyle talk about their recent trip to Disney. It’s pretty good. I feel like I’ve already given away too much of the episode in this text, so just check it out!

Song is “Natalie and Effie in the Park” by Of Montreal

47 – Why Are You a Lhasa Apso?

The Lhasa Apso, is a dog of surprising feats. You look at it and just assume, “Ah yes, you are just a dog of no substance.” Wrong. There’s this little ol’ thing you may have heard of called, “Dalai Lama” whose soul will possess a Lhasa Apso while waiting to become human again. Yeah, the leader of Tibet is technically a dog for a little while. Honestly, I would love it if we had the option to vote for a dog every so often. Cause if a dog got to be King of America, if you have a bad opinion, you’re just gonna look like an jerk.

Besides their history with the Tibetan ruling class, this breed is very old. In fact, the link between the Lhasa and the wolf is a very short link. The more I learn about genetics, the more I don’t understand genetics. I look at a wolf and the Lhasa, and I have to assume something happened between them. Turns out, that something wasn’t a lot. They’re also known for their long hair “show cuts” which looks a lot like human hair. Probably just as annoying as having long hair as well, showing up wrapped around your foot, or in your clothes.

This episode, Caitlyn goes on a tirade about birds. In case it somehow has not come out at this point, Caitlyn doesn’t like birds. As pets, specifically. I have seen her enjoy pictures of cute birds, and she has a LOT of owl stuff in the apartment. So. . . it’s complicated I guess.

Song for this week is “Lhasa Apso” by Ne’er Do Evers

46 – Why Are You a Beagle?

The Beagle is a dog made famous by Santa Rosa, CA man Charles Shultz while drawing his cartoon “Peanuts”. The most fascinating about the Beagle in Peanuts is that he looks nothing like an actual beagle. This started a trend with just about every other cartoon beagle looking nothing like the actual dog. Surprisingly though, they do actually come in a black and white version.

Besides their cartoon depictions, Beagles are so popular that they even have their own verb: beagling. This is essentially short hand for chasing hare as prey. They did a lot of this way back when, and the original breeders even made other kinds of beagles to change up the hunts. This includes big beagles, fast beagles, lazy beagles, and pocket beagles. Eventually these breeds were dropped or turned into another dog, cause that’s how dog breeds work. ¯\_()_/¯

Beagles are also the number #1 dog when it comes to drug testing. Mostly because they don’t seem to give a crap about what you do to them. Beagles are very easy going and as a result are often used as working dogs to not intimidate those afraid of dogs. Kinda smart, as these guys are pretty cute.

Caitlyn shows off her only accent in her repertoire at length. Kyle mentions stuff that he already mentioned in other episodes. So I guess go listen to those episodes if you wanna hear them. Sorry about that.

Song is “I love My Beagle” by Grandbob.

45 – Why Are You a Basenji?

The Basenji, not to be confused with Benji, is only the second African dog we’ve done. These little dudes have some cute quirks about them. You may have stumbled upon the Basenji as you were looking up dogs that don’t bark. Well, that is “true”, they don’t bark. They yodel. So if you found the Basenji, or us because of this, change your search to “Silent Dogs”.

What they are though, is a very ancient breed, and go back as far as 3000 BCE. Although from the Congo, they have a lot of history in Egypt as well. Even though there isn’t really evidence of it in the research, I feel like the Basenji may be what Anubis was based on. Look at the statues and drawings, that’s not any jackal I ever seen. What’s impressive more, is that the dog was initially used as a hunting a dog, which it did by sight, rather than smell. I say impressive, because the modern version is no more than 2 feet tall.

These dogs are also pretty close to the bottom of the scale of intelligence in dogs. By near the bottom, I mean second to last. This is somewhat controversial, as apparently the standards for intelligence measuring is based on ability to take commands on the first instance. I think it’s about time they re-do the test, as the list doesn’t even contain 100 dogs on it.

This episode, Caitlyn and Kyle talk about their time in Seattle which they are actually back from. Caitlyn reveals that she has been preparing to do this podcast over a decade before she met Kyle. Kyle is all goofed up on cough medication, and is particularly annoying.

Song is Can’t Get Enough by Basenji (we rolled a 6).

35 – Why Are You a Swedish Vallhund?

Oh my god, who was hiding the Vallhund from us all? Properly referred to as “Swedish” Vallhund, these puppers look like a corgi husky hybrid dog. So essentially, have the body of corgi, but the coloring of a husky or a wolf. Unsurprisingly, the Vallhund and Corgi have some sort of shared history, but what it might be, is unclear. So yeah, it’s one of those dogs that no one really knows much about!

Although not much is known about the Vallhund, they have been around for at least a thousand years. They were more than likely used by vikings for all farming purposes, and may or may not have a hand in the creation of the corgi. I doubt they rode around pillaging villages, but it does make for an amusing image. These dogs are rather new to the AKC and still incredibly rare in the United States and only has 10 states with registered breeders.

Caitlyn tries her damnedest to struggle through some Swedish words, and Kyle shares his personal experiences with the language. The episode also eventually breaks down into who does the most work, and thus who deserves the most titles.

Song for this episode is “Watch it Crash” by Toh Kay. (Listen to the episode and it will make sense).

33 – Why Are You a Chihuahua?

The Chihuahua, I guess that’s what we’re doing this week. Among the small dogs we’ve done, Chihuahuas are the smallest we’ve covered. So small, their breed recognition has only a disparity of two pounds that they can be within to even get accepted into dog shows. Since they’re so small, they also live nearly as long as horses.

One who knows a little bit of geography, may be quick realize the chihuahua may be named after Chihuahua, Mexico. Few people probably know they were also called Texas Dogs, Arizona Dogs, Mexico Dogs as well. And that’s about all their history. Well, they have a bit more history, but it’s pretty grim.

This episode we talk about Kyle’s brief but memorable history with the Taco Bell dog, as well as Billy West’s extensive voice acting career. Kyle is also impressed that people can get kids or animals to act. Also, we’re back to a regular schedule after this, since we recorded this right after the last one. Immersion broken!

Outro song is “Chihuahua” by DJ Bobo

32 – Why Are You a Boston Terrier?

This week on “Why Are You A Dog?” we talk about the Boston Terrier. AKA Boston Bull Terrier, AKA American Gentleman dog, AKA Wicked Pissa. They are one of the few uniquely North American dogs, and although they started out as fighting dog, they’re actually very calm and super friendly. Most surprising thing about these guys? Not actually a terrier.

Now if you’re familiar with the show Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and saw the dog “Iggy”, you’ve probably seen one of these dogs. Depending on your humor, you may or may not like that the dog farts a lot. It’s a stupid comedic relief thing, right? Nope, Bostons are actually well known for their gassiness. If a website is going to talk about this dog, they make sure to let you know about their fart power within the first paragraph. Some even put it in their headline. We are at least breaking the mold, and waited until the second paragraph to talk about their flatulence.

Caitlyn talks about how ghosts are only a problem only in very specific ways, and Kyle tries to coin a new description for dog coats as “glazed”. He also tries to make a really poor penguin comparison. The song for this week is “For Boston” by The Dropkick Murpheys.