62 – Why Are You an Afghan Hound?

The Afghan Hound: named after Afghanistan, or the blanket? It’s the former. Probably for both, actually. Kyle asked this question, but I don’t think we got a straight answer. Anyway, the Afghan hound is known for two things: 1) they have very long locks of hair all across their body 2) they are the dumbest dog. I suppose there are people who look at the world that way, so here’s the answer.  Not completely true, we’ve unpacked a bit on how these grades are received in previous episodes.

The dog is very similar in build to most other sight hounds, almost like a long haired Greyhound. In fact, at some point in history it even had a variation of the name “greyhound”. The dog used to hunt various game across Asia, including the rare Snow Leopard. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of information about the dog until they came to England. Some verifiable facts about the Afghan, is the dog was the first dog ever cloned. That’s right, someone cloned a dog, and it was the Afghan hound.

Since the dog is objectively pretty, we talk about fashion and how Kyle doesn’t understand it. What is the point of a fashion runway shows, as it seems improbable for someone to buy or wear the outfits. Yes, a well tapped comedy mine, don’t worry, we don’t linger long.

Song this week is “Afghan Hound” by Manor.

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60 – Why Are You a French Bulldog?

The French Bulldog, or the Frenchie, is another bully breed dog. Surprise! But seriously, the name of the dog is pretty descriptive. Just like Kyle had said in a recent episode, the naming schema was “Place, thing related to what it does, dog/hound”. The history is very similar to the other bully breed dogs, but this dog was originally the reject dogs. When English Bulldogs came out too small, they would send them off to France. The French loved this.

The dog is actually much more popular than any other breed that is part of it’s lineage. This includes dogs like the pug, or the Mastiff, which is interesting, as it is nowhere near the size of a mastiff. This is also one of the most expensive dogs to give healthcare to. Any sort of issue that could happen, seems to happen to this dog. Down to even being nearly incapable of naturally breeding. They’re lucky that they are generally accepted as a cute breed, otherwise, this dog would go the way of the Steller’s Sea Cow.

In this episode, Caitlyn and Kyle talk about Red Dead Redemption 2. Mostly against Caitlyn’s will, because it’s what Kyle has been doing. Not him playing the game, just talking about it on the show that is probably not listened to by people who enjoy games. Whoops!

Song is “Frenchy, I’m Faking” by Architecture in Helsinki

55 – Why Are You a Yorkshire Terrier?

The Yorkshire Terrier, or the Yorkie, may be one of the smallest dogs, but they had a pretty big impact. They were originally bred for clearing mill houses of small pests. Or not? The men who bred the Yorkies were not very good at keeping records of what they did or why. This is actually a point of frustration for later breeders.

One of the smallest dogs of all time was a Yorkshire Terrier, not much larger than a matchbox. That is insanity that something could be that small. One of the most celebrated dogs of WW2 was also a Yorkie. Smoky started out as a stray, that travelled across the world with their master helping out with the war. Yeah, actually legitimately helping out with the war.

Caitlyn and Kyle talk about their recent trip to Disney. It’s pretty good. I feel like I’ve already given away too much of the episode in this text, so just check it out!

Song is “Natalie and Effie in the Park” by Of Montreal

53 – Why Are You an American Staffordshire Terrier? (feat. Pitbull)

The American Staffordshire Terrier, or the Amstaff, is a Pitbull type dog. What I mean by that, is that when you think Pitbull, it’s likely this dog. Or the South Florida artist Pitbull, who is not to be confused with the Amstaff dog breed. This episode encompasses all of these things, since they have a similar background. Which, if you listened to our English Bulldog episode, you’d know deals with the bloodsports of bull baiting, and not looking like bulls.

As we all probably know, the Pitbull is put in a pretty bad light, as it has a very powerful bite. The breed is not inherently dangerous, but as it’s bite has a higher chance of being fatal. This is likely the reason why the breed has so much legislation against it. Most violent dogs are either abused or trained to be that way. Also, the locking jaw thing is not true. The Pitbull is not part snake. Another mis-informative fact out there, they were not nanny dogs. There is no such thing as a nanny dog.

Caitlyn has some struggles with words this episode. Kyle calls out flat-earthers, and people who get dumb rules made after them. It’s an episode on Pitbulls, but we don’t get too political. Except when we made some pretty great jokes about political slogans.

Song is “Timber” by Pitbull featuring Ke$ha

46 – Why Are You a Beagle?

The Beagle is a dog made famous by Santa Rosa, CA man Charles Shultz while drawing his cartoon “Peanuts”. The most fascinating about the Beagle in Peanuts is that he looks nothing like an actual beagle. This started a trend with just about every other cartoon beagle looking nothing like the actual dog. Surprisingly though, they do actually come in a black and white version.

Besides their cartoon depictions, Beagles are so popular that they even have their own verb: beagling. This is essentially short hand for chasing hare as prey. They did a lot of this way back when, and the original breeders even made other kinds of beagles to change up the hunts. This includes big beagles, fast beagles, lazy beagles, and pocket beagles. Eventually these breeds were dropped or turned into another dog, cause that’s how dog breeds work. ¯\_()_/¯

Beagles are also the number #1 dog when it comes to drug testing. Mostly because they don’t seem to give a crap about what you do to them. Beagles are very easy going and as a result are often used as working dogs to not intimidate those afraid of dogs. Kinda smart, as these guys are pretty cute.

Caitlyn shows off her only accent in her repertoire at length. Kyle mentions stuff that he already mentioned in other episodes. So I guess go listen to those episodes if you wanna hear them. Sorry about that.

Song is “I love My Beagle” by Grandbob.

41 – Why Are You an Airedale Terrier?

The Airedale terrier is, surprisingly, a very interesting dog. These dogs seem to be everywhere you look. Their origin is essentially being several different dogs bread together until someone said, “Oh yeah, that’s neat.” As far as Terriers, besides the Giant Schnauzer, they’re usually known for being much smaller dogs. But these boys are pretty big, and some folks in their past even sought to make them bigger.

Like many other terriers, they start out chasing small rodents in holes, until they got mixed up with a bunch of other dogs and formed what we see now. Then somehow they became war dogs. Yeah, these friendly looking guys fought in wars. But to just limit them to that would be a disservice, as far as other dog jobs, they seemed to have done them all. Some folks would even say they did them better than any dog.

In this episode, Kyle and Caitlyn talk about how a dog breed is solidified. We also ponder whether anyone went to Harvard for a Creative Writing degree. Caitlyn also takes a minute to warm up to the jokes in this episode.

The song for this week is “Terriers” from the show Kids in the Hall.

40 – Why Are You a Bulldog?

The English Bulldog, or just the Bulldog, is actually pretty cool. Unlike many of the recent dogs, the Bulldog actually had no near extinction to fight off, so they had a somewhat short history. Surprisingly, they are not called bulldog because of the way the look, but because they were heavily involved with a sport known as bull baiting. It’s a bittersweet concept, since the sport sounds super cool, but it was also extremely dangerous for the dog. This makes me curious for when we do the other bull named dogs.

When moved to the new world, they were still used to an extent in New York for cornering bulls. It seems bonkers that New York had a persistent problem, they had a bulldog A-Team. Keep in mind the current version of the dog is nothing like the dog from nearly 500 years ago. The current version of the dog seems to be a practice in arrogance by humanity. Their health is poor, and they are cursed with the inability to give birth without assistance.

Kyle teaches Caitlyn the Alpha dog concept is not true. Caitlyn is upset that Kyle doesn’t have the full document committed to memory. I will however post the link to the research changes here. It’s a pretty decent read, so check it out.

Song is “Hey Bulldog” by The Beatles

22 – Why Are You a Shih Tzu?

Happy Year of the Dog! For the Lunar New Year, we’ll be doing a series on Asian dogs and the first week is all about the Shih Tzu. We tackle the question of what is a Shih Tzu? So many names for such a small dog. You’ll be surprised to know that the dog is not pronounced “Shit Zoo”, as we all think it is, but pretty much exactly how it’s spelled.

This episode has eunuchs, lions, casual racism and a ridiculous pronunciation guide. Kyle and Caitlyn also learned new medical terminology, and think it would be a great band name. What is it, you ask? You’ll just have to listen!

Outro song is The Shih Tzu Song by Backyard Haircuts.

20 – Why Are You a Jack Russell Terrier?

Ever wonder “Who is Jack Russell? Why does he have a dog names after him?” Well, we’re here to tell you. And no, he’s not related to anyone named Parson… Interestingly, it seems that there are multiple Russell Terriers out there.

This week, learn about the man behind one of the most ubiquitous small dog breeds. There’s also an opportunity to name a potential new book idea Caitlyn and Kyle came up with, to learn about a nightmarish occurrence in the TV show Arthur, and Caitlyn mistakes Arthur for a badger and not an aardvark. Don’t @ her about it.

Outro song is “My Little Jack Russell” by Richie Kavanagh.