49 – Why Are You a Portuguese Podengo?

The Portuguese Podengo, definitely not to be referred to as a “popo”, is a slightly complicated dog. They come in three sizes, and are essentially the same dog, but only the poqueno version is a “hound”. What are the other two? According to the AKC, just miscellaneous. Oh, but if you are to ask someone from Portugal about their hound origins, they would tell you they’re not quite hounds. In fact, they probably would tell you what the dog is not, rather than any explanation of what they are. Like I said, the Podengo is complicated.

To further complicate this breed, they also have two different coats, which don’t seem to be part of the same litters. One is a wired and the other type is smooth. So not only do they come in three distinct sizes, but they also have two different coats. Why are these not all just six different dogs? If the corgi can be two dogs, why not this one? As they are hound dogs, they are used for hunting as you may have guessed.

In this episode, Kyle and Caitlyn discuss the merits of the popularity list of dogs. Caitlyn thinks it’s fine as is, but Kyle argues that it is not useful if it doesn’t have all the dogs on it. How are we to verify the popularity if the list is not thorough? We also talk a little bit about internships. Not for this show, oh no. Just in general. Come for the dogs, get the extra facts for free!

Song is “Fandango with a Podengo” by Reverse Thrust. This is from a Rock Opera about Cats.

48 – Why Are You a Rottweiler?

The Rottweiler. Take any thought you had in your mind for a guess on their origin, and then take it and throw it away. Your thoughts on the rottweiler are almost certainly wrong. They weren’t a breed meant for fighting or some sort of violence; they were a herding breed. That’s right, just like the tale of old “Jesus the Rottweiler,” they were originally meant for shepherding others. If you are like myself you’ll find this strange, if you know anything about other shepherding dogs.

Even though the Rottweiler is a herding dog, they are still in a league of their own. Instead of using their eyes for intimidation they would instead use their entire bodies. In other words, instead of scaring you by what they “may” do, they’d outright show you what they could do. Rottweilers may as well have been rugby or hockey players as their constant body to body contact was a given. Instead of making a scary face to the animal they were charged, they’d just tackle you. This even a story that Kyle shares with his personal experience with the breed.

Loyal Listener Lisa asks about the origin of Willie, and Caitlyn shares for everyone to hear. After the story, Kyle explains how he has usurped Willie’s role, as he is now the king of the house. Caitlyn also goes on a tirade on why Chevy Chase (the actor, not the location) ruins all of his projects. Although there is a warning at the top of the show, this is the really upsetting news.

Song is “Rottweiler” by Don Phenom.

47 – Why Are You a Lhasa Apso?

The Lhasa Apso, is a dog of surprising feats. You look at it and just assume, “Ah yes, you are just a dog of no substance.” Wrong. There’s this little ol’ thing you may have heard of called, “Dalai Lama” whose soul will possess a Lhasa Apso while waiting to become human again. Yeah, the leader of Tibet is technically a dog for a little while. Honestly, I would love it if we had the option to vote for a dog every so often. Cause if a dog got to be King of America, if you have a bad opinion, you’re just gonna look like an jerk.

Besides their history with the Tibetan ruling class, this breed is very old. In fact, the link between the Lhasa and the wolf is a very short link. The more I learn about genetics, the more I don’t understand genetics. I look at a wolf and the Lhasa, and I have to assume something happened between them. Turns out, that something wasn’t a lot. They’re also known for their long hair “show cuts” which looks a lot like human hair. Probably just as annoying as having long hair as well, showing up wrapped around your foot, or in your clothes.

This episode, Caitlyn goes on a tirade about birds. In case it somehow has not come out at this point, Caitlyn doesn’t like birds. As pets, specifically. I have seen her enjoy pictures of cute birds, and she has a LOT of owl stuff in the apartment. So. . . it’s complicated I guess.

Song for this week is “Lhasa Apso” by Ne’er Do Evers

46 – Why Are You a Beagle?

The Beagle is a dog made famous by Santa Rosa, CA man Charles Shultz while drawing his cartoon “Peanuts”. The most fascinating about the Beagle in Peanuts is that he looks nothing like an actual beagle. This started a trend with just about every other cartoon beagle looking nothing like the actual dog. Surprisingly though, they do actually come in a black and white version.

Besides their cartoon depictions, Beagles are so popular that they even have their own verb: beagling. This is essentially short hand for chasing hare as prey. They did a lot of this way back when, and the original breeders even made other kinds of beagles to change up the hunts. This includes big beagles, fast beagles, lazy beagles, and pocket beagles. Eventually these breeds were dropped or turned into another dog, cause that’s how dog breeds work. ¯\_()_/¯

Beagles are also the number #1 dog when it comes to drug testing. Mostly because they don’t seem to give a crap about what you do to them. Beagles are very easy going and as a result are often used as working dogs to not intimidate those afraid of dogs. Kinda smart, as these guys are pretty cute.

Caitlyn shows off her only accent in her repertoire at length. Kyle mentions stuff that he already mentioned in other episodes. So I guess go listen to those episodes if you wanna hear them. Sorry about that.

Song is “I love My Beagle” by Grandbob.

45 – Why Are You a Basenji?

The Basenji, not to be confused with Benji, is only the second African dog we’ve done. These little dudes have some cute quirks about them. You may have stumbled upon the Basenji as you were looking up dogs that don’t bark. Well, that is “true”, they don’t bark. They yodel. So if you found the Basenji, or us because of this, change your search to “Silent Dogs”.

What they are though, is a very ancient breed, and go back as far as 3000 BCE. Although from the Congo, they have a lot of history in Egypt as well. Even though there isn’t really evidence of it in the research, I feel like the Basenji may be what Anubis was based on. Look at the statues and drawings, that’s not any jackal I ever seen. What’s impressive more, is that the dog was initially used as a hunting a dog, which it did by sight, rather than smell. I say impressive, because the modern version is no more than 2 feet tall.

These dogs are also pretty close to the bottom of the scale of intelligence in dogs. By near the bottom, I mean second to last. This is somewhat controversial, as apparently the standards for intelligence measuring is based on ability to take commands on the first instance. I think it’s about time they re-do the test, as the list doesn’t even contain 100 dogs on it.

This episode, Caitlyn and Kyle talk about their time in Seattle which they are actually back from. Caitlyn reveals that she has been preparing to do this podcast over a decade before she met Kyle. Kyle is all goofed up on cough medication, and is particularly annoying.

Song is Can’t Get Enough by Basenji (we rolled a 6).

44 – Why Are You a Peruvian Inca Orchid?

It finally happened. Someone requested a dog that they googled by searching “least known dog”. The results spit back Peruvian Inca Orchid, or the Peruvian Hairless dog. The question I think we’re all wondering is, “Why is it called Peruvian Inca Orchid?” Well, apparently this is still a great mystery even today. The dogs seem to be older than the Incan empire, and they don’t really resemble flowers all that much.

What we do know, is that the dog is really similar to the xoloitzcuintli. They both are hairless, and seem to have problems with teeth. Interestingly, these dogs also have a variety called “long coat”, which just means they have hair. Instead of different color fur, their skin color has some variations, including white. Oh yeah, since they have no fur, they also get cool things like pimples and sunburns.

In this episode, we talk a lot about the Sandlot, and Kyle tells Caitlyn about a pretty good burn. I made it the cold open, but we just interrupted the show near the end with the talk. So we randomly talk about Sandlot again seemingly out of nowhere. So if you actually read this write-up you’ll understand why! Actually, I’m curious if anyone reads this. Send a message in saying, “Say hello to your mother for me” or something that let’s only us know.

Song is “Inca Orchid” by Mezzoa

43 – Why Are You an Akita?

The Japanese Akita, or as it’s known in the United States, the Akita, is a very storied dog. Like many of the dogs in East Asia, they have a very long history. The strangest part about that history has to be that Helen Keller is a huge reason they came state side. Yes, that Helen Keller’s favorite dog was the Akita. Because of this, the dog actually has some variations from American and Japanese. The Japanese version looks more like the Shiba Inu and the American one has more of a bear head.

The greatest claim to fame that the Akita has is the story of Hachiko. This story has been retold several times, but this is the true and real one. He’s the dog where his owner rode the train to work, and passed away before returning. This prompted Hachiko to return to the station for 9 years until his own death, awaiting his master to come back from work. There’s two movies made about this, and the story is referenced all over the place.

Kyle learns that Caitlyn doesn’t have a soul, in that she didn’t think the Futurama reference to Hachiko was very sad. The two also talk about how if they made a Hachiko movie, what it might be like instead of the real movie.

Song is “Like Falling Snow” by Suara.

42 – Why Are You a Finnish Lapphund?

The Finnish Lapphund is the cutest dog breed. Somehow the Scandinavians figured out how to make all the best stuff. Best mythology, best cities, and even the best dogs. I know, that’s subjective, but I’ll stand by it. The Finnish Lapphund (or Lappies as Caitlyn referred to them) goes back quite a ways and has origin with the indigenous people of the European north. The Sami used the Finnish Lapphund for herding an unusual animal. That is until the snowmobile.

Did we mention these things are adorable? The fact they aren’t known outside of Finland is a total shame. Although they lack popularity, they have been part of the AKC for a few years now, and have a pretty thriving show community. Since these dogs are on the smaller end, they also seem to live forever. And as we all know, since they’re a bit smaller, they like to bark. It’s probably good that they bark though, since they kinda look like wolves. . .  That’s important because wolves don’t bark, in case you didn’t know. . .

Caitlyn and Kyle talk about World War II, and Kyle royally screws up some facts. So much so, that if he had been accurate, the entire war may have been different. Caitlyn was there to quickly correct him though, so sorry any Russians, Poles or Germans out there.

Song is “The Cage” by Sonata Arctica.

41 – Why Are You an Airedale Terrier?

The Airedale terrier is, surprisingly, a very interesting dog. These dogs seem to be everywhere you look. Their origin is essentially being several different dogs bread together until someone said, “Oh yeah, that’s neat.” As far as Terriers, besides the Giant Schnauzer, they’re usually known for being much smaller dogs. But these boys are pretty big, and some folks in their past even sought to make them bigger.

Like many other terriers, they start out chasing small rodents in holes, until they got mixed up with a bunch of other dogs and formed what we see now. Then somehow they became war dogs. Yeah, these friendly looking guys fought in wars. But to just limit them to that would be a disservice, as far as other dog jobs, they seemed to have done them all. Some folks would even say they did them better than any dog.

In this episode, Kyle and Caitlyn talk about how a dog breed is solidified. We also ponder whether anyone went to Harvard for a Creative Writing degree. Caitlyn also takes a minute to warm up to the jokes in this episode.

The song for this week is “Terriers” from the show Kids in the Hall.

40 – Why Are You a Bulldog?

The English Bulldog, or just the Bulldog, is actually pretty cool. Unlike many of the recent dogs, the Bulldog actually had no near extinction to fight off, so they had a somewhat short history. Surprisingly, they are not called bulldog because of the way the look, but because they were heavily involved with a sport known as bull baiting. It’s a bittersweet concept, since the sport sounds super cool, but it was also extremely dangerous for the dog. This makes me curious for when we do the other bull named dogs.

When moved to the new world, they were still used to an extent in New York for cornering bulls. It seems bonkers that New York had a persistent problem, they had a bulldog A-Team. Keep in mind the current version of the dog is nothing like the dog from nearly 500 years ago. The current version of the dog seems to be a practice in arrogance by humanity. Their health is poor, and they are cursed with the inability to give birth without assistance.

Kyle teaches Caitlyn the Alpha dog concept is not true. Caitlyn is upset that Kyle doesn’t have the full document committed to memory. I will however post the link to the research changes here. It’s a pretty decent read, so check it out.

Song is “Hey Bulldog” by The Beatles